Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts

eat, pray, love.

    i think i'm going to finally go buy this book tomorrow while i run errands in the a.m... i've heard such mixed reviews but every PERSON i've discussed it with has loved it. raved on and on. it was only the online reviews that said otherwise. either way, i think it would be a good read, right?


    People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
    — Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

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eat, pray, love.


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you suck.

    it absolutely boggles my mind how you can go from being so so so incredibly in love with someone for three years and then the next day you are perfectly fine with wanting absolutely nothing to do with them ever again. i would be more than happy if adam never contacted me again, after i get the $600 he owes me, that is. honestly. hand to God i want him out of my life completely. i will never look at him the same way again. things start unravelling and holes in stories emerge, lies come to the forefront and the whole relationship feels like a sham.

    but rather than spill my love life or lack thereof out on here... or count the ways in which he completely and totally sucks (there are more appropriate places, ie LiveJournal), i'll simply leave it at this... you really think you know someone but their true colors show once you've parted ways.

    you can tell a whole whole lot about a person by the way they handle a breakup.

    i'm trying my hardest to be classy, dignified, yet tactful. i'm trying to tie up loose ends where they need to be dealt with and i'm trying to move on with my life. many more undesirable obstacles will stand in my way and i'm sure i'll meet my fair share of uber-crappy boyfriends... oh the joys of growing up!

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you suck.


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https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/11/you-suck.html


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the meantime boy...

    He enters your living room without hesitation because he knows he’s always welcome there. You can never completely get angry with him because you’ll forgive him anyway (why expend the energy on that?) There’s no real pressure to look good for him, or to domesticate yourself, because hell, he probably cooks better than you do. you don’t get disappointed when he doesn’t open the door for you, or perform any of the perfunctory genteel mannerisms frequently assigned to a “gentleman” (ergo, a prospect). if he sees you as a buddy, then you really don’t quite see him as a “man”… much more the “gentle” kind.



    But that doesn’t mean these signs of breeding are alien to him (it’s just that around you, he can slip up and live to see the next day). More often than not, he’s one of those dudes on top of the food chain. Why else wouldn’t you mind having him confused as a boyfriend? And the mere fact that he doesn’t mind (well, not really) being seen with you says he sees you being in that level too - especially if he has to contend with the are-you-guys-together interrogation as well.



    And admit it, the pestering questions from well-meaning people are well-founded. You’ve both acquired the mannerisms of an old couple - there are no awkward silences, no trite comments, no hesitations. Physical intimacy can stretch from holding hands to cross the street to a prolonged embrace when one of you feels bad. It’s true, you’re around each other when life’s vicissitudes erupt. He’ll be the first person at your doorstep, maybe even getting there before you do, because you told him you were just fine (wonderful, could’t be better) - and he recognized the devastation in your voice . And you, you don’t even need to say how proud you are of him (how awkward can that be!)- you knew, you believed in him way before he did.



    Where your relationship is is where other couple’s relationships should be - given fifteen years or so. Only you’ve had this chemistry too soon, way before either one of you will ever recognize just how irreplaceable it is. It was never the result of time, negotiation or compromise. It’s just one of those things that came too easily, so naturally it’s laughable to call it precious (it’s so many other things - just NOT that word). It’s like telling a piano prodigy to practice when he can play Mozart’s Symphony in E Minor after one listening. Just plain absurd.



    But admit it, being around this Meantime Boy has given you an inkling of what it would feel like to be with The One. What you feel when you’re with him - how secure, how profound or how silly you both can be - these are the stuff you need in lifelong commitments! Think about it. He’s probably seen you sweat it out on the track (thus disproving the myth that girls don’t sweat), just as much as you’ve seen him develop one too many love handles. Not even for charity will you ever HAVE TO take it easy on him in the court. He’s had one too many fashion faux pas for his own good, mispronounced so many words you’ve lost count and he probably farts in front of you. On the other hand, he’s seen you have bed head, trip on your feet, and cry like a baby when John Kofi gets the chair. Almost perfect, isn’t it? Just add mad, incredible passion (the one missing ingredient) to this comfortable stew and you’ve got something so rare it will leave you breathless.



    So the truth is Meantime Girl, there is a reason for this meantime-ness… and you better have the good sense to know it’s not to wait for him to snap out of his immaturity (or for you to make the first move-neva!). He’s your Meantime Boy because you need to learn from him what truly enabling relationships are - and not to confuse that with those that are disgustingly constricting. He’s around because you need to recognize the primacy of friendship (that’s why FRIEND is the bigger word in GIRLFRIEND). He’s there because you need to believe that you can be seen as a thinking human being - and not the commodity so closely associated with your gender.



    The Meantime Boy grants you the liberty to love - because while he is an accommodating recipient of your affections, he silently gives way when someone else steps into your life. He gives you THAT look, the don’t-you-dare-fall-in-love-with-me Care Bear Stare whenever your get your ends all mixed up. Don’t despair and take heed: his very indifference is his gift to you.



    By being oblivious to your adoration, he sets you free to be someone else’s forever. And when this man, this god, finally arrives to sweep you off your feet, he’ll marvel at the perfect jewel you are: how you never begrudge Sunday Night Football, how you confidently possess your own mind and project the very essence of graciousness. And why wouldn’t you be? You’ve had years of practice.

Post Title

the meantime boy...


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https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/11/meantime-boy.html


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a new chapter begins...

    last night at work was rather busy. we luckily had quite a crowd. the night went by rather quickly and i was on my way to good ol' Hohenwald. it felt nice to crawl into bed in my childhood room (which has since been revamped... but mom painted it peach & its full of ruffles! oh my! its like a dollhouse!). i was woken up by my silly dog Charlie and my mom at the door ushering me to breakfast. a home cooked meal! so rare for me these days haha the weather outside is beautiful so i'm waiting on my laundry to finish so i can go outside and enjoy it. i had to leave baby G at home and it breaks my heart. i miss her so. she always has fun back here with Charlie and Lacey. but anyway...

    i've gotten a few questions regarding my changed facebook status and removal of the photos of adam and i on my myspace... i have prayed about some things over the past few days/week and i've come to the decision that i needed to part ways for good with adam. yes, i know we only got back together legitimately in the past few months but he and i are both battling things that are so much bigger than ourselves. i'll simply say no, distance was not the ending factor. yes, adam was the boy i thought and expected to spend the rest of my life with. i would have been happy with that. that was my "plan"... but sometimes plans don't work out, and the one person you think is "the one" is really just "the one to teach you a few things"... adam taught me so much in three years. he taught me that i cannot make myself a victim of my past, he taught me how to love someone unconditionally, he taught me how to DO rather than try, he taught me how to hold on and most importantly, he taught me how to let go. i love adam with every fiber of my being and i'll always care for him. he was my first love and he will be the one i compare everyone to, regardless of my desire for or against this. however, sometimes its both naive and ignorant to stay with someone simply because you love them. i harbor no ill-will towards him and i wish him nothing but happiness and success in his future. however, i can neither help, nor save, someone who is unwilling to help himself. it was a very hard decision and it was one that i thought i'd regret, but as i woke up thursday morning i was greeted with a sense of satisfaction, contentment, and a lifted spirit. it was my decision, and it is one i do not regret. i'm merely writing this so that no one here thinks that i am lying or misleading them by anything i say about love and relationships, etc etc.

    what does this mean for me? who knows. it means happiness and friends and laughter and flirting and an open heart and mind. i am open and ready to meet someone who can make me laugh and texts me all hours of the night even if just to say hello, doesnt mind my cheesy romantic comedies and the fact that i cry during the new at&t commercial (the one with the little girl and lost dog.. yeah... you know you felt it, too!).

    it's going to be a scary venture, jumping back into the world of dating and flirting and all that jazz, because to put it frankly, i'm not good at any of that mess. i'm shy and awkward and i can't flirt to save my life haha however, i am so ready for this chapter and i know that it is going to be filled with so many amazing people, places and adventures.

    it also reiterates my belief and understanding that everyone doesn't have the same sequence of events in their lives. many (read: most) old friends are married and parents of multiple children. some have been divorced, others have met their "soul mates"... all in due time. just because i wasn't meant to meet the man of my dreams at age 21 doesn't mean he isnt out there. i was once friends with a girl who married the second boy she ever "dated"... the first real boyfriend. more power to her. maybe some consider that a "fairytale"... but not me. i've been kicked to the bottom and i've felt the absolute worst heartache i think i could ever handle... but i've bounced back from it. i've learned from everything i've felt. i now know how to handle situations like that and in the future, i'll be able to handle other shitty boyfriends and broken hearts... it's destined to happen. so for that i consider myself lucky. i am strong woman because i've felt these things.

    everything happens for a reason and i welcome this new phase of my life with open arms. i'm so very excited about my purpose. if you're nursing a broken heart, i promise you one thing... you WILL get through this. there ARE good people out there. you will be loved and you will be appreciated.

    and as the quote goes
    "i can settle down, but i won't settle."

    find the one that is deserving of you. and don't let go. (and until then, flirt unabashedly! and if you've got any tips for your girl, let me know! hahaha)

    xoxo

Post Title

a new chapter begins...


Post URL

https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/11/new-chapter-begins.html


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dress up your life!

    someone asked me today why i was so dressed up. actually, they asked "what's the occassion?" i replied with a casual "just because. I am the occassion."

    we all go through that slump at some point in the year... where sweatshirts become more acceptable than they ever should, we roll out of bed and we're lucky if we manage to look in the mirror before grabbing the car keys. and for a lot of us, including me, it's when the wintertime months roll around. it's almost as if we stop making the effort. BUT WHY?

    maybe you broke up with your boyfriend (how we can relate!), maybe you lost your job (stupid economy!), maybe you flunked your econ-midterm (no one enjoys econ anyway)... you're in a funk.

    but what we fail to see is how dressing up can improve your mood. so you ditched your dude! big deal! its not like there aren't 3 billion other men on the planet! you flunked that final exam?! exam schexam. it's just one tiny tiny blip on the radar. you will survive all of these things... and if you're gonna survive it, you might as well look good doing it.

    wake up tomorrow and put on your best dress. "whats the occasion?" YOU ARE THE OCCASION. wear some funky bright eyeshadow. "what if it doesn't look good?" well, at least you'll know now won't you?! do something you haven't done before. "like what?" put on the fanciest dress you own, curl your hair, curl your lashes, and go the laundromat! go get ice cream! dress up and go to mcdonalds! it doesnt matter what! you don't need an special occasion to live your life extraordinarily... be confident. be bold. why the hell not right?!

    it's all about your attitude. it doesn't matter what cards you're dealt in life... it's all about how you choose to play them. you are not a victim. you are the victor. make life abide by YOUR rules for once.

    you don't need an excuse to be fabulous. it was built into your system. it's who you are. YOU ARE FABULOUS!

    be amazing and be okay with it.

    celebrate you!

    xo

    ps; i think you're amazing!

Post Title

dress up your life!


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https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/11/dress-up-your-life.html


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and

    If you’ve ever had one of those times when you’ve clutched a pen or something else in your hand for a long time, only to look down and be surprised that you are still holding it long after your need for it had passed, you’ll understand sometimes we get so used to holding that we forget to let go.

    -------

    i forgot how to let go...

Post Title

and


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you know this is for you...

    You were happy once;
    you were sunshine and smiles and a brightness that radiated.
    You may be cloudy now, you may not want to sing.
    You may just want to fold inside of yourself,
    on the oldest couch you can find, by the biggest window,
    and watch it rain.

    You used to find that little things made you happy;
    now you can’t even find the big things.

    Somehow, along the way, you lost yourself.
    One foot in front of the other, sweetheart,
    and you will find your way back.

Post Title

you know this is for you...


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do happy: be unreachable


    Your boss could email. Your mother might call. Your boyfriend could text. A potential client might @reply. A colleague could leave a blog comment. Your cousin may IM with information you need to know now.

    Everything seems urgent in an always-on world, where we can access each other at any time. Even if you manage to tune everything out, odds are you feel a little distracted.

    People expect you to be available and they’re frustrated when you’re not. Or maybe it has nothing to do with them, and you just don’t want to disconnect. Who knows what you’ll miss if you disappear into your own space for a while.

    Though you may lose the opportunity to get in a conversation mere moments after it started, you’ll gain something far greater by stepping back.

    When you stop being available to everyone else, you become more available to what’s in front of you.

    You let go of your phone, without worrying it might vibrate, and use both hands to hug your grandmother. You stop watching your email like a pot that hasn’t boiled, and actually taste the tea you usually multitask. You stop living each moment like a narrator watching and start feeling more alive in your experiences.

    Be unavailable today, even if just for a little while. Unplug, slow down, and savor this moment. You can always get in on the conversation later–when you’ll likely enjoy it more. Connecting with people is far more fulfilling when you feel connected to yourself.

    Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

    ---------------------

    (via tinybuddha.com)

    sorry! i had just one more! when i read this i realized it related to my current situation. if you've tried reaching me and i've been distant or i didn't answer my phone or email or a knock at my door, i'm sorry. but right now i need to be a little selfish and have time for myself. we all do. please don't take it to heart but i need a chance to reevaluate a lot of whats going on in my life. i hope you can understand and more importantly i hope you can take a little bit of time for yourself.

Post Title

do happy: be unreachable


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https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/11/do-happy-be-unreachable.html


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do happy: see and tell


    “Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~Voltaire

    There are a lot of impressive people in the world. Some innovate and invent things that help masses of people. Some use art to tell powerful stories that move viewers to action. Others make the world a better place by being helpful within their own sphere of influence, however small or large it may be.

    Those little things define people.

    The way your neighbor asks how you’re doing and really listens for the answer. How your coworker supports your ideas, and gives you encouragement to see them through. The way your sister makes your house a better place by staying calm when others seem stressed.

    All acts of greatness that affect other people, whether they notice or not.

    Noticing is a powerful act.

    A compliment rooted in truth creates more than just a smile. It shows someone you see the good in them independent of what they achieve. It tells them they not only matter; they really make a difference. Something we all hope to do.

    Tell someone what you see today. Let them know how simply being them makes a difference in your world. Life looks a lot brighter when you open your eyes to the light in people around you.

    Do happy. It’s something you’re due.


    -----------

    (via tinybuddha.com)

    i read tiny buddha every day and i follow tiny buddha on twitter. it's a wonderful website and it helps remind me of things i may forget on the daily. i suggest you check it out :)

Post Title

do happy: see and tell


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https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/11/do-happy-see-and-tell.html


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truth.

Post Title

truth.


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https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/10/truth.html


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42.

    42 things to do...


    1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
    2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
    3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
    4. When you say, “I love you”, mean it.
    5. When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.
    6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
    7. Believe in love at first sight.
    8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
    9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it’s the only way to live life completely.
    10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
    11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
    12. Talk slowly, but think quickly.
    13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
    14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
    15. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
    16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
    17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
    18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
    19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
    20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
    21. Spend some time alone.
    22. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
    23. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
    24. Read more books and watch less TV.
    25. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.
    26. Trust in God, but lock your car.
    27. Create a loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
    28. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
    29. Read between the lines.
    30. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
    31. Be gentle with the earth.
    32. Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.
    33. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
    34. Mind your own business.
    35. Don’t trust a man/woman who doesn’t close his/her eyes when you kiss.
    36. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
    37. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
    38. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
    39. Learn the rules then break some.
    40. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
    41. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
    42. Remember that your character is your destiny.

Post Title

42.


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https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/10/42.html


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lasts.


    If you pick me a flower, I’ll wear it in my hair. I’ll stash little notes for you where you least expect them. I don’t have many firsts left.. but I’d like someone who I could offer all of my lasts. We’ll make history together. I’ll wait for you even if you’re late – and I won’t complain about it. Kindness to cashiers, valets, waiters and maddeningly slow postal clerks who would try the patience of Gandhi is a must. I will feel safe and most at peace in your arms. When you’re counting aloud, I will try and mess you up. I find you magically delicious. I will let you be right when it doesn’t really matter. I’ll giggle when you show off and I know it’s just for me. I’ll hold your coffee while you drive. I can build a fire without burning the house down. If you wash the car with me – I promise to wear a white t-shirt for you. I‘ll hide around corners and try to scare you in the middle of the night.. of course, I’ll end up scaring myself and you’ll have to calm me down. I can change a flat tire and my own oil. It’s the simple things you do that make me swoon the most. I love it when you sing to me. I’ll make you mickey mouse pancakes. Sleeping in has a whole new meaning now that we’re doing it together. I’ll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching tv. I won’t swear around your family or make you wear silly sweaters at my family’s during Christmas. I’ll grant you three wishes. I’ll make you laugh. I’ll stare in wonder with you at that hot chick with the great rack. I will marvel at your strength. I’ll take care of you when you’re sick. I give a kick ass massage. I think it’s hot when you come home all dirty from playing or working hard. My heart will skip every time you walk through the door. My kisses will take your breath away – seriously. I’ll giggle if you leave your socks on in bed. My quirks and oddities have been deemed ‘adorable’ and I will love you more everyday for all of yours. I’ll hold you when you need it. I will give you space when you need it. I will let you be you. You’ll sleep better when I’m next to you. I’ll thank you every time you open a door for me. I’ll never give you shit in front of your friends. I won’t ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch and a passionate kiss. We can watch your movie first. I’ll clean the house perfectly every time your mom comes by. I like horror movies only when you’re with me and only as long as you hold me close. I don’t litter. I love when you pull me down to sit on your lap. I love it when you lay your head on my chest in bed. I can be ready (shower and all) in half an hour. I’ll look cute as hell in your shirt in the morning. I can balance a checkbook. I can never turn down a challenge. I’ll fit perfectly in your arms. I’ll understand if you get jealous – and do my best to show you that you have no reason. Hand-written love notes will get you laid every time. I can totally keep a secret. I’m pretty damn funny and will do anything to make you laugh. You will always look hot to me in the morning. I think it’s cute when you eat off my plate. When you’re sleeping, I’ll try to stay quiet. I’ll call when I say I will. Treat me like a woman and I’ll treat you like a man. To clarify: I’m not looking for a fix-up project, or anything of that sort. I’m looking for a man who quite simply adds something extraordinary and special to my life. And I to him. A fair exchange, an amazing mind, body and soul connection and a place to build something magnificent.

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lasts.


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i'm sorry.

    i'm sorry but i just find it absolutely necessary to reiterate this. to post it again, for my own benefit. because apparently somewhere in the middle of the past two days, i've forgotten it. i've forgotten that I DESERVE BETTER. and you know what, ALL OF YOU DESERVE BETTER. do not ever settle.

    --------------

    Here’s to all those girls who used to be his number one.

    The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, “I only want to be your friend”, one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn’t want to be anything at all. Here’s to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.

    We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

    Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.

    Here’s for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again.

    This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder “what if”.

    This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us.
    When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it.
    This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

    This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “You’re just not the one for me.” or maybe, “things were going too fast, I’m just not ready.” (Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

    Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.
    The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so.”
    The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

    We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

    Here’s for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.

    Here’s for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart … again.

    This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.
    Here’s for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.

    This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.

    Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.

    Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.
    When your song comes on the radio, turn the station.

    When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.
    When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door.

    Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was.
    Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hadn’t called when he said he was going to.

    One day, you’ll find a guy who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.

    It’s gonna hurt like hell, and it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

Post Title

i'm sorry.


Post URL

https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-sorry.html


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rollercoaster.


    it's amazing to feel your heart in this state. it's no longer in a state of limbo; just trying to regain it's stable footing. to feel it beat so hard. it's one of those nights where you find it in your throat. rendering you utterly useless in the way of speech. you can't say anything. but just like a rollercoaster, you ascend to the peak, you crash down in a rush, but you always level out. the ride has to level before you can exit. life will pick itself up again and you'll love with more ferocity than you've ever know. and best of all, this time it will be real. i'm over the quick turns, the whiplash, the twists, the loops, being suspended in the air with absolutely no control. i'm sick. i'm nauseous. i'm worn out.

    your ride has ended. please unbuckle and exit to your left.

Post Title

rollercoaster.


Post URL

https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/09/rollercoaster.html


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the good life.


    “ It’s laughing with your friend at a time when you shouldn’t. It’s the sweat in your palms wanting to know someone you see and the pit in your stomach when they actually see you. It’s being touched by hands that aren’t your own. It’s the thrill of an escape that almost wasn’t. It’s the embarrassment you feel, naked for the first time. It’s helping a friend find something they lost. It’s a smile, a joke, a song. It’s what someone does that they like doing. It’s what someone does that they like remembering. It’s the thinking of things you may never do and the doing of things you may never have thought. It’s the road ahead and the road behind. It’s the first step and the last and every one in between, because they all make up the good life. ”
    — The Good Life

    photo by ashley g + drew.

Post Title

the good life.


Post URL

https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/09/good-life.html


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flames.

    Because sometimes there is no easy way out. You just have to grin and bear it. Sometimes the only escape route is to go straight through the flames, just brace yourself and bite your lip. Sometimes you have to sever the ties clean off. Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can’t sustain you. You have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. Because you can’t keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.

Post Title

flames.


Post URL

https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/09/flames.html


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it will.

    Here’s to all those girls who used to be his number one.

    The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, “I only want to be your friend”, one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn’t want to be anything at all. Here’s to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.

    We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

    Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.

    Here’s for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again.

    This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder “what if”.

    This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us.
    When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it.
    This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

    This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “You’re just not the one for me.” or maybe, “things were going too fast, I’m just not ready.” (Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

    Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.
    The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so.”
    The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

    We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

    Here’s for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.

    Here’s for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart … again.

    This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.
    Here’s for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.

    This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.

    Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.

    Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.
    When your song comes on the radio, turn the station.

    When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.
    When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door.

    Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was.
    Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hadn’t called when he said he was going to.

    One day, you’ll find a guy who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.

    It’s gonna hurt like hell, and it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

Post Title

it will.


Post URL

https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/09/it-will.html


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fucking things up.


    i feel like this cake was made for me. i feel like this always haha but it's a brand new day and you learn more from mistakes than you do success.

Post Title

fucking things up.


Post URL

https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/09/fucking-things-up.html


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actions.

    "You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter." — Nicholas Sparks, The Rescue

    i like to believe everyone is good. that there is no real evil and that everyone is armed with good intentions. sadly that seems to be my downfall of the sorts. i trust people and i take their word. i judge them based on that word, rather than on their actions. can i just say, good and well, that i know exactly what nicholas sparks meant by that? i truly always want to give the benefit of the doubt and hold out hope that this time maybe it really is different... but it never is. its the same old charade. its convenient, its safe, and most of all, its not permanent.

    i can no longer be your second choice, not when i've made you my first for the past three years. and i especially will not play seconds to a piece of plastic (aka your cellphone) and i sure as hell will not play seconds to your nasty drug & alcohol habit.

    i've felt this way for a while... i've been over "us"... i just didn't get over "you"... but now i am. i'm ready to step out into the world and take it by it's horns. i will no longer let you be the excuse as to why i cannot let someone get close to me. i deserve to be loved, fully, unconditionally, and unashamed. it is not common practice to wonder who else you're leading on... it's never been okay. just because you practiced it for years doesn't make it right.

    it's my turn to find someone who will reciprocate the 100% that i invest into them. he will hold me accountable, he will understand my sarcasm, and most importantly, he will be honest.


    i'm sorry you couldn't be honest with me. but i'm finally being honest with you. when i walked away from you today, that was it. that was the final time i plan on seeing you. this will be best of us both in the end. no games, no bullshit. i gave you every ounce of emotion in my body today. you saw me cry, you saw me laugh... but do me a favor and just remember when you saw me walking away.

    i'll never regret any of it, but i'll no longer spend sleepless nights wishing i had it back. because lets just be honest... you are not good for me. it's time for me to figure "me" out. invite only.


    "As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around."
    — Oprah Winfrey

Post Title

actions.


Post URL

https://inddecor.blogspot.com/2009/08/actions.html


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