Happy New Year's Eve Eve

I hope you ring in the new year with all of the pomp and circumstance it deserves- very little.  Here's the thing: new year's eve is amateur hour where I live.  People pour into the city in their sluttiest finery, pay exorbitant prices to get into a place where they will then pay even more for watered down drinks.  Over-paying for drinks is one thing, dressing like a huge ho while you do it is another.  If you are going to dress like a slightly above base-level priced hooker, you shouldn't be shelling out your kid's college fund to do so.

Here's what I consider Just Too Slutty for New Year's Eve:

1. T and A
It's tits OR arse, people.  The OR is key here. Showing off some cleavage is fab, if you are covering your crotch and most of your thighs.  And showing a little leg rocks, as long as your girls are all covered up.

2. Sequined Everything
This might be more tacky than slutty, but the two really go hand in hand.  If you wear a sequined dress, your other accessories better be damn subtle.  The sequined shoes, bag, earrings, and tiara?  Get over yourself.

3. Boobs Up To Your Chin
I get it, your girls are perky.  But hoisted up to your chin?  Is slut-tastic.  It's unnecessary and gross and everyone knows damn well that your boobs aren't that high.  So give 'em a rest.

4. Polyester and Spandex
You know who you are. You have one "going out" top from college when you were 25 pounds thinner and 100% sluttier.  And you want to whip it out now and party like it's 1999.  Sorry, people.  It doesn't look like you are still in college and it does look like you bought that top 15 years ago from Forever 21.

5.  Pleather/PVC Anything
Pleather pants, PCV top: just don't do it.

Dress like you deserve those over-priced well drinks- you deserve it!

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Happy New Year's Eve Eve

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Handbag of the Day: Zipped Up Tote

To cleanse your visual palette from the last post (I know, I am still shuddering, too), I present you with this lovely Melie Bianco Zipped Up Tote for $69.99.  It comes in brown and black, has a super fun polka dot lining, and the handle drop looks long enough to go over jackets and coats.  A great one for rainy/snowy days, since it's synthetic vegan.

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Handbag of the Day: Zipped Up Tote

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Are You FREAKING Kidding Me?!

I found this on Regretsy, and it is ACTUALLY BEING SOLD on Etsy.  In fact, there are three in stock, as of my recent check on the seller's page. The seller, "stephaniesimek", describes this monstrosity as "sweet little sleeping eyes."  I'm thinking that anything made with real human hair and meant to be worn around your neck is actually more "Silence of the Lambs" and less "sweet."

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Are You FREAKING Kidding Me?!

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Need to Laugh?

Should you need a laugh, mosey on over to the Net-A-Porter Sale, where you will find the likes of this:

Um, hello, 1992? Your Contempo Casual shorts are calling. And don't worry, they're on sale for $105.


What is this $1,431 (yes, you read that right) embellished tank dress embellished WITH, you ask? No, not gold, diamonds, or the tears of virgins. It's crystal.


This one is just too easy, it makes me wonder if it was put on the site just to be mocked. This little number is $626.50, and is SEQUINED. Because the florescent animal print was too subtle on its own.


This is a lamé-paneled chiffon blouse. It is $633.50. Surely no more needs to be said on this. The fact that it looks like something from Forever 21's club wear section certainly isn't worth mentioning.


There were so many bad pants options, limiting myself here was difficult. These knit pants are $467.50. (Good thing, too, they aren't $468, because no way would I pay an extra 50 cents for these.)

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Need to Laugh?

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Check out this Site

You MUST check out www.regretsy.com, about the ridiculous and gross handmade stuff on Etsy (which is a site I love and where I find something I want at least 12 times a day). I especially love the Advent Calendar post...

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Check out this Site

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Handbag of the Day: Roundup

Today's Handbag of the Day is actually several- there were too many good ones on sale at Piperlime for me to pass them up (official sale prices start Sunday):

I know, I know- it's shameless self promotion from MJ, but I can't help loving this tote. It's $129.99, which is high for a canvas tote, but I still love it, for all of its rugged/utilitarian-yet-stylish-ness.

This Francesco Biasia Emily IV comes in purple ($169.99), blue and brown (both $149.99). This is a STEAL for this brand, not to mention it's lined in suede. Delish.

This Tano bag is $169.99 and is a little bit bad girl rocker chic, which might be why it's called Mona Lethal. I love all of the pockets and the contrasting colors.


This ridiculous little travel pouch from See by Chloe comes in blue and pink, and as much as I don't go for the cutsie stuff, I am sorely tempted to buy this for $39.99. It looks like the perfect size to pop in my bag or suitcase.

P.S. If you check out the sale, you'll see several other Handbag of the Day picks at reduced prices- yippee!

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Handbag of the Day: Roundup

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Check Out This Fab Accessories Site

This site is just too aesthetically pleasing to keep to myself: megcohendesign.com

Sure, the cashmere throws are over $1000 (!!!), but the fingerless gloves, change purses, and scarves are affordable and fun to browse.

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Check Out This Fab Accessories Site

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Product Review: Stiruppz

I have been using Stiruppz for several weekends in a row and I can now officially report on their awesomeness. They kept my skinny jeans AND my denim leggings securely tucked into my boots and I barely noticed I was wearing them. They didn't damage my clothes- I don't think they even left indents in my leggings. For $25 they are well worth it.

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Product Review: Stiruppz

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Santa Pets: Pro or Con?

I used to be firmly on the side of Dressing Your Pets Like People Is Gross. Since my introduction to icanhazcheezburger and Bumble Steve (he's on Facebook but there are some great pics on this blog), I have gotten over my aversion to dressing up animals for our amusement. I still think the animals aren't into it, but I think I can stand that as long as they aren't being hurt (you know, besides their probable feelings of shame and disgust).

Are you pro or con dressing up pets? This santa cat is pretty cute, people. So's this guy:

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Santa Pets: Pro or Con?

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Boots + Shorts = FUGLY

I'm not gonna lie to you: I think boots with shorts is a terrible look.

(Actually, I think the whole shorts-instead-of-pants-or-a-skirt is ridiculous, since I think shorts are reserved for hot summer days when traveling or throwing on over your bathing suit at the beach, but I digress.)

Shorts + boots/booties/furry abominations AKA Uggs = FUGLY.

I realize that many of you would like an explanation of my disgust, to which I must respond: tough noogies. My venom for such a juvenile, trashy, sloppy look is deep-rooted and irrational. I cannot express it clearly.*

I will say the following by (lousy) way of explanation:

1. It reminds me of something vaguely athletic, and we know how inappropriate that is when not on a field, court, or track. Please see Exhibit A:



2. It reminds me of the revolting Southern-California-Girl-Bullshit that inspires people to do this:



3. Basically, this "Sloppy and Wishing I Was Still 16 So I Could Get Away With It" look says it all for me:



To sum up, do everyone a favor and wear some pants or a skirt (one that covers your arse, preferably) when wearing your boots. Believe me, you and everyone with eyes will be glad you did.

*And no, adding tights under your shorts and boots does not change anything.

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Boots + Shorts = FUGLY

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Handbag of the Day: Black Satchel

I'm a sucker for a sharp black bag with gold tone hardware. This is the Steve by Steve Madden Metal of Honor Satchel and it's on sale for $179.99 (from $248). It has a long strap and handles, is all leather, and some good inside pockets. If you want/need/yearn for a new winter bag, this one's pretty awesome and a pretty good deal.

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Handbag of the Day: Black Satchel

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Check out my guest post on The Fashion Police

I have been published as a guest blogger on one of my favorite blogs of all time: The Fashion Police. And on one of my favorite topics of all time. Check it out.

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Check out my guest post on The Fashion Police

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Gift Watch 2009

If you haven't noticed, I have recently become a TEENY BIT obsessed with Twitter. So, my Gift Watching has been done that way for the last week or two. Handily, my recent tweets (yeah, I think it's weird to call them that, too) can be found in the right column of this very page. Woo hoo.

For those of you who are morally opposed to/annoyed by/just don't wanna tweet or follow such things, I present to you an Official But Not Comprehensive Gift Watch Summary Thus Far:

1. For the entertainer and/or sweets lover on your list check out www.cupcakecaps.com

2. Super fun and affordable ring at http://tinyurl.com/yklpgjs

3. For the Star Wars fan on your list, this ($132!) bangle will make them proud: http://tinyurl.com/yzmgqye

4. This sweet cupcake lip balm 4 pack is $10 http://tinyurl.com/yeubhm3

5. Find INSANELY adorable (without being kitschy!) jewelry at http://alexmonroe.com/

6. Need a gift idea? Get her this wallet (only $38!) and slip in a couple of gift cards... http://tinyurl.com/ylozmjj

7. This make up set just looks fun to play with: http://tinyurl.com/yhvk3c8

8. These wool-cashmere gloves with buttons are so cute! http://tinyurl.com/yjlc4w3

9. Consider signing up for an Amazon Prime account-the 2 day free shipping on almost everything more than pays for itself during the holidays, at least for me...

10. Free shipping @ J Crew on $150 or more (let's face it: hitting $150 is no problem on that site). Enter code HOLIDAY

11. Her pieces run on the pricey side but they are gorgeous, unique and fun: www.kellymorgen.com

12. CUTEST CERAMICS EVER @ www.villageclayworks.com

13. I love, love, LOVE this detailed and nature-inspired jewelry with a dark side. It's well priced, too! www.dariasalusjewelry.com

14. This cloisonné jewelry is amazing: www.lindalundell.com

15. Crate and Barrel has some pretty fun under $25 & under $50 stuff: http://www.crateandbarrel.com/Gifts/

16. Who doesn't love a cashmere scarf? Lots of options at Nordstrom for under $100.

And, now, for your Feel Good Link of The Day...
17. 31 ways to help others this season: http://letshaveacocktail.blogspot.com/2009/12/31-days-of-goodness.html

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Gift Watch 2009

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